Like it or not, we all have a part of ourselves that we try and suppress because it is often in conflict with our public facing image. It was Carl Jung, one of the founders of psychotherapy and a friend of Freud, who developed the idea of a ‘shadow’ self, using it alongside ‘persona’ – derived from Latin for theatrical…
It’s been a while. I’ve been pondering on whether I should keep blogging, on why I wanted to do it in the first place. Off-loading? Therapy? Narcissism? Wanting to let others know it’s OK to not have life sussed? One of the first ‘rules’ I learnt in my training as a counsellor was not to…
If honestly really is the best policy, why do we lie? No use pretending you don’t. We all do, to varying degrees. How many times have you heard (or said), “If I told the truth, it would break their heart”, “It’s better that they never know the truth” or, perhaps, “What they don’t know won’t hurt them”? Lying…
“Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the life out of you..” I saw this quote on Facebook today and it made me think of all the emotional vampires I’ve encountered. You know, the people who suck the happiness out of you. Being around them is exhausting because they need constant attention.…
I’m rapidly approaching 50 and have been reflecting on my life so far: Phase 1 – childhood, setting the scene. A time of learning, exploring, freedom and fun. Looking back (with the support of my counsellor), I can now see that it was the time when my psychological map was drawn, when I learnt to be…
My mum. She’s loving, generous, supportive and a bit bonkers! She’s got a wicked sense of humour and hair the colour of smoked salmon (always has had). She’s opinionated, speaks her mind and, in her own words, doesn’t suffer fools gladly. She was born in 1936 and grew up in East London during the blitz…
Anxiety has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. It’s only recently that I’ve come to accept that it always will be. I was raised by a mother who had ‘bad nerves’ – which we both now know means she suffers from severe anxiety and depression. She, in turn, had to tiptoe…
Five people I have loved have been addicts. Their addictions were different (alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography) but in my experience what they were addicted to was irrelevant; an addict’s behaviour seems to be the same regardless. They lied, they deceived, they stole, they were angry and abusive. They ripped my heart out, time and time…
It would be reasonable to say that I’ve had my fair share of relationships. So what have I learnt? For a start, you can’t make someone love you or want to be with you, no matter how much you want it or how hard you try. Love isn’t something you can force, it happens of…
Like millions of others I was appalled by the despicable acts of terrorism that killed so many people in Paris on 13 November and destroyed the lives of those who loved them. Thoughts of what happened and why, as well as the ramifications it has triggered, have played heavy on my mind this week. As…