Here I share my thoughts on life, love, relationships, family, sex, emotions, health, and anything else I think others might find interesting (or not!). I also share articles and videos that have resonated with me.
Can you really have fantastic sex after years together?
Is it really possible to have fantastic sex with your partner if you’ve been together for a long time? I see so many people, couples and individuals, who are worried that they’re not having as much sex as they used to have with their partner. Or in a lot cases, as much as they think…
Sustaining a sexual connection
I love this short TED talk by Emily Nagoski about sustaining a sexual connection: Sustaining sex over a lifetime. Her two rules for sustaining a sexual connection over the long term are simple: Maintain friendship as the very foundation of your relationship, and Prioritise sex. Emily is a brilliant sex educator whose “mission in life…
Me and my shadow…
Like it or not, we all have a part of ourselves that we try and suppress because it is often in conflict with our public facing image. It was Carl Jung, one of the founders of psychotherapy and a friend of Freud, who developed the idea of a ‘shadow’ self, using it alongside ‘persona’ – derived from Latin for theatrical…
Am I sharing too much?
It’s been a while. I’ve been pondering on whether I should keep blogging, on why I wanted to do it in the first place. Off-loading? Therapy? Narcissism? Wanting to let others know it’s OK to not have life sussed? One of the first ‘rules’ I learnt in my training as a counsellor was not to…
Would I lie to you?
If honestly really is the best policy, why do we lie? No use pretending you don’t. We all do, to varying degrees. How many times have you heard (or said), “If I told the truth, it would break their heart”, “It’s better that they never know the truth” or, perhaps, “What they don’t know won’t hurt them”? Lying…
It’s not you, it’s them…
“Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the life out of you..” I saw this quote on Facebook today and it made me think of all the emotional vampires I’ve encountered. You know, the people who suck the happiness out of you. Being around them is exhausting because they need constant attention.…
It’s just a phase I’m going through
I’m rapidly approaching 50 and have been reflecting on my life so far: Phase 1 – childhood, setting the scene. A time of learning, exploring, freedom and fun. Looking back (with the support of my counsellor), I can now see that it was the time when my psychological map was drawn, when I learnt to be…
More than a mother
My mum. She’s loving, generous, supportive and a bit bonkers! She’s got a wicked sense of humour and hair the colour of smoked salmon (always has had). She’s opinionated, speaks her mind and, in her own words, doesn’t suffer fools gladly. She was born in 1936 and grew up in East London during the blitz…
Learning to love my anxiety
Anxiety has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. It’s only recently that I’ve come to accept that it always will be. I was raised by a mother who had ‘bad nerves’ – which we both now know means she suffers from severe anxiety and depression. She, in turn, had to tiptoe…
Love the person, hate the addict
Five people I have loved have been addicts. Their addictions were different (alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography) but in my experience what they were addicted to was irrelevant; an addict’s behaviour seems to be the same regardless. They lied, they deceived, they stole, they were angry and abusive. They ripped my heart out, time and time…
Can you really have fantastic sex after years together?
Is it really possible to have fantastic sex with your partner if you’ve been together for a long time? I see so many people, couples and individuals, who are worried that they’re not having as much sex as they used to have with their partner. Or in a lot cases, as much as they think…
Sustaining a sexual connection
I love this short TED talk by Emily Nagoski about sustaining a sexual connection: Sustaining sex over a lifetime. Her two rules for sustaining a sexual connection over the long term are simple: Maintain friendship as the very foundation of your relationship, and Prioritise sex. Emily is a brilliant sex educator whose “mission in life…
Me and my shadow…
Like it or not, we all have a part of ourselves that we try and suppress because it is often in conflict with our public facing image. It was Carl Jung, one of the founders of psychotherapy and a friend of Freud, who developed the idea of a ‘shadow’ self, using it alongside ‘persona’ – derived from Latin for theatrical…
Am I sharing too much?
It’s been a while. I’ve been pondering on whether I should keep blogging, on why I wanted to do it in the first place. Off-loading? Therapy? Narcissism? Wanting to let others know it’s OK to not have life sussed? One of the first ‘rules’ I learnt in my training as a counsellor was not to…
Would I lie to you?
If honestly really is the best policy, why do we lie? No use pretending you don’t. We all do, to varying degrees. How many times have you heard (or said), “If I told the truth, it would break their heart”, “It’s better that they never know the truth” or, perhaps, “What they don’t know won’t hurt them”? Lying…
It’s not you, it’s them…
“Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the life out of you..” I saw this quote on Facebook today and it made me think of all the emotional vampires I’ve encountered. You know, the people who suck the happiness out of you. Being around them is exhausting because they need constant attention.…
It’s just a phase I’m going through
I’m rapidly approaching 50 and have been reflecting on my life so far: Phase 1 – childhood, setting the scene. A time of learning, exploring, freedom and fun. Looking back (with the support of my counsellor), I can now see that it was the time when my psychological map was drawn, when I learnt to be…
More than a mother
My mum. She’s loving, generous, supportive and a bit bonkers! She’s got a wicked sense of humour and hair the colour of smoked salmon (always has had). She’s opinionated, speaks her mind and, in her own words, doesn’t suffer fools gladly. She was born in 1936 and grew up in East London during the blitz…
Learning to love my anxiety
Anxiety has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. It’s only recently that I’ve come to accept that it always will be. I was raised by a mother who had ‘bad nerves’ – which we both now know means she suffers from severe anxiety and depression. She, in turn, had to tiptoe…
Love the person, hate the addict
Five people I have loved have been addicts. Their addictions were different (alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography) but in my experience what they were addicted to was irrelevant; an addict’s behaviour seems to be the same regardless. They lied, they deceived, they stole, they were angry and abusive. They ripped my heart out, time and time…